Honest Stories • August 7, 2017

Why Aren’t You Married Yet?

Why I'm not married, KiaSalter.com

If you’re single, like me, you’ve probably heard the question “Why aren’t you married?” too many times to count. I respect the sanctity of marriage and would love to have that for myself one day. But until that happens, please stop asking me this damn question. I know some people have good intentions. But I don’t think they understand how it makes the recipient of their question feel. Allow me to tell explain how it feels in very few words. It feels like sh*t.

So I always wonder, why are some people obsessed with knowing why women aren’t married? Is it because they don’t want the focus on them? Or could it be that it’s easier to point out what’s wrong with someone else’s life rather than deal with their own? But who says being single is a bad thing? I may not be where I want to be relationship wise, but that doesn’t give you the right to make me feel bad about it.

So if you really want to know why I’m not married? Then I’ll tell you. I’d rather not settle. I understand people are not perfect. And I’m not looking for unrealistic expectations. But call me crazy, I’d rather wait until God sends me the right person. When you settle, you make a choice from fear. And that choice can sometimes make you bitter. And since I love living a bitter free life, I think I’ll pass on that particular option.



Why I'm not married, KiaSalter.com



Marriage, to me, is sacred and should be taken seriously. When you go before God and promise to love and honor someone, you should mean it. So there is no way I’m going to say a marriage vow to someone I simply settled on. Why would I sell myself short? And quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to hurt the other person by telling him a lie. When and if I say those vows, they will be to someone who has earned my love. Someone who respects and protects me. Someone I chose for me. And not someone I said yes to simply because people kept asking me when will I have a ring on my finger.

So if you’re wondering why I’m not married yet? Understand it’s not because I’m an old maid. I’m intelligent, good looking (if I say so myself), articulate, and have a lot to offer. Far from any old maid you’ve ever seen. And it’s not because I don’t believe in the sanctity marriage because I do. That’s important to me. Believe it or not, the answer is simple. I’d rather wait for something beautiful and right for me.

So until the one who compliments me comes along, please stop asking me (and every other woman) why aren’t you married.



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  • Jamala Kim Wallace

    I feel ya on this! I married young and nit that i regret it but like the saying goes if i knew… yada yada… I’d waited..you will when you’re ready.. i make it a point to never ask that question…i always say.. enjoy your freedom..